Last Night
by porce-blaine
Summary: Because of two words, Kurt keeps on being misunderstood by his perverted friends. fb!fic. Kurt/Blaine or Klaine, with slight Wes/David or Wavid bromance. Expect dirty jokes and cheesy lines. ONESHOT


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__My first ever fb fic! (And my second Klaine fic) I've read two or so in the same "facebook wall-to-wall format" and they were really hilarious and entertaining. Let's just hope this is as good as those too. Haha!__

__Dirty jokes, I know. It's my first attempt at actually making dirty jokes. I tried my best to come up with witty lines. My sense of humor is definitely not the best; I think I'm kind of shallow, so pardon me if this disappoints you. (But I hope it doesn't)__

__NOTE: Underlined names are those who are tagged/ mentioned.__

__So, without further ado, (hang on to your bobby socks girls, coz we're about to rock your world.), my attempt at writing a humorous fb fic!__

__(Don't forget to leave reviews!)__

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><p><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> **Blaine Anderson** Thanks for last night! I had so much fun. ;) [**Blaine Anderson**, **Wesley Cheung **and 6 others like this.]

**Puck Bad-ass **ABOUT DAMN TIME, HUMMEL! [**Santana Lopez **and 2 others like this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Puckerman, I am pleasantly surprised to find out that you are also interested in these things. Putting that aside, I've been waiting for it for such a long time! I've looked forward to it ever since I read about it.  
><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>Sooo… how long was it? ;)  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> I would say the same about you, Santana. I did not think that this would catch your interest. To answer your question, I was so into it that I didn't notice. But I guarantee you won't be bored. ;)  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>ARE YOU KIDDING? Of course I'm all for it!  
><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>DUDE! TOTALLY NOT COOL!  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Finn, I am disappointed with you. What you said was totally offensive. I could just barge into your room and lecture you on this, but since I already began typing, I will just go on. It doesn't mean that just because you are straight, you are not allowed to like things that seem totally gay. Puckerman has all the right to like whatever he wants. I thought you already changed, I guess I was wrong.  
><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>Wow. Seems you had a really good time.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>I sure did! ;)  
><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>Sorry, dude.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> It's alright. I hope you've learned your lesson. And please, don't call me dude ever again.  
><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>Ok  
><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>Were you bottom?  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Haha! No. Of course not. Although Bottom isn't an ideal role for me, it wouldn't be so bad to be one some day.  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **Kurt, I don't think you and your friends are on the same page.  
><strong>Brittany S. Pierce <strong>We are. Coach Sylvester even paid for it. I know because I was the one who drew horns and fangs on Rachel's face.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Blaine, what do you mean?  
><strong>Rachel Berry <strong>Brittany S. Pierce, as perplexed as I am to why you decided to give that statement, I am enraged with your display of immaturity. Not only did you commit an offense to me as a minority, but you also committed vandalism and tampered school property.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>OH MY GAGA NO

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><p><strong>Burt Hummel <strong>  
><span>Kurt Hummel<span> and Blaine Anderson, I thought I made it clear already.

**Carole Hudson-Hummel **Come on, Burt. They are teenagers. It's just natural.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> No, dad it's not what it seems to be! And why do you have to make it your status in Facebook?  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **It was just a misunderstanding, sir.  
><strong>Burt Hummel<strong> Who misunderstood: me, about your excuse; or you and Kurt, about what we talked about?  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson** Actually, sir, it was our friends who took things the wrong way.  
><strong>Burt Hummel<strong> I demand an explanation, Kurt. Just knock on the door before going in.

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><p><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>  
>Contrary to popular belief, <span>Blaine Anderson<span> and I did NOT have sex last night. It was a grave misunderstanding between the parties involved.

**David Bryant **Where is the dislike button? [**Wesley Cheung** likes this.]  
><strong>Wesley Cheung <strong>dislikes this. [**David Bryant **likes this.]  
><strong>Brittany S. Pierce <strong>There was a party? I wasn't invited. :( Lord Tubbington has always wanted to go to a birthday party. I even bought him a birthday hat two weeks ago just in case. :(  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>But have you guys done it before? [**Santana Lopez** and 2 others like this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> I am NEVER talking to you again, Puckerman. [**Finn Hudson** likes this.]  
><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>You're avoiding the question, Kurt. ;)  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> The same goes for you, Satan  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> *Santana.

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><p><strong>Mercedes Jones <strong>** Kurt Hummel **How was date night? ;) [**Rachel Berry**, **Blaine Anderson** and 2 others like this.]

**Kurt Hummel **Our date was wonderful! :) [**Blaine Anderson** likes this.]  
><strong>Rachel Berry <strong>What did you and Blaine do?  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Oh, we had dinner at a fancy restaurant and watched "A Midsummer Night's Dream" at Columbus! [**Blaine Anderson**, **Mercedes Jones **and 3 others like this.]  
><strong>Mercedes Jones <strong>Good to hear! How was the play? ;) [**Rachel Berry** likes this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>It wasn't a musical, but it was really nice. I'm pleased that it met my expectations. Blaine and I got to meet the cast afterwards! :)  
><strong>Mercedes Jones <strong>Boy, ain't that nice!  
><strong>Rachel Berry <strong>Kurt Hummel, did the two of you kiss? ;)  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>:) [**Rachel Berry**, **Mercedes Jones **and 5 others like this.]  
><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>Wait a minute, so if you two only ate dinner and watched a play, where did you get your answers?  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Ugh. I really don't want to answer that. I think I've suffered enough humiliation for now.  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **Santana, I believe Kurt thought that you and Noah were interested in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and were asking about it. As for your question of "how long", he thought you were asking about the length of the show. I believe Kurt misunderstood your meaning of "bottom" to the character in the play called "Bottom".  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Thanks for explaining it on my behalf, Blaine.  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson** No problem. ;)  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>It's Puck, man. Anyway, This is BS. I'm sure something happened. [**Santana Lopez** and 2 others like this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Ugh, does your mind contain anything else but sex?  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>That's some sharp tongue, Hummel. I like it.  
><strong>Finn Hudson<strong> DUDE! KURT HAS A BOYFRIEND! HOW COULD YOU TALK ABOUT TONGUING WITH HIM?  
><strong>Rachel Berry <strong>Finn Hudson, I am fairly certain that Puck did not mean that literally.  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>Finn, I can see that you are trying your best to fill your role as my stepbrother, and I appreciate that, but you are overreacting. Calm down. [**Carole Hummel-Hudson** likes this.]  
><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>Ok.. Sorry, man.  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>It's cool.  
><strong>Finn Hudson<strong> Mom, did you just like Kurt's comment?  
><strong>Carole Hummel-Hudson <strong>Yes, honey. Oh! I like the part where it says that you are trying your best to be Kurt's stepbrother. Not the overreacting part.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Admit it, Carole. You SO agree with that part too.  
><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>HEY! NOT FAIR!  
><strong>Carole Hummel-Hudson<strong> Actually, I think I do. ;) [**Kurt Hummel** likes this.]  
><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>Mom, I can't believe I actually agreed to make you a Facebook account and add you as my friend.

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><p><strong>Blaine Anderson<strong>  
>misses <span>Kurt Hummel<span>. [**Kurt Hummel** and 8 others like this.]

**David Bryant **How romantic. [**Wesley Cheung** likes this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>That's really sweet, but we were together just last night. [**Wesley Cheung, David Bryant** and 3 others like this.]  
><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>;) [**Puck Bad-ass** and 2 others like this.]  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson** Why, can't I miss you? :( [**Wesley Cheung** and **David Bryant** like this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>NO GUYS, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. WE JUST ATE AT BREADSTIX. KEEP YOUR HEADS OFF THE GUTTER. [**Blaine Anderson** likes this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>And Blaine, I'm not saying you can't. Truth be told, I miss you too. [**Blaine Anderson** and 5 others like this.]  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass<strong> Yeah, right.

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><p><strong>Wesley Cheung<strong>  
>misses<span>David Bryant<span>**. [David Bryant **and **Wesley Cheung **like this.]

**David Bryant** That's more like it. [**Wesley Cheung** likes this.]  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **I never understood what's going on with you guys. And Wes, do you really have to like your OWN status? [**Kurt Hummel** likes this.]  
><strong>Wesley Cheung <strong>Why, can't I like my own status? :( [**David Bryant** likes this.]  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson** Hahaha. Very funny. Remind me again why I became friends with you guys.  
><strong>David Bryant <strong>Do you really want us to remind you? [**Wesley Cheung** likes this.]  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **…Actually, no. [**Wesley Cheung** and **David Bryant** like this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Quite frankly, I'm curious as to why the three of you are friends. It's such an odd combination. [**Blaine Anderson**, and 2 others like this.]  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **It's a long story that I'd rather you not hear. [**Wesley Cheung** and **David Bryant** like this.]

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><p><strong>Blaine Anderson<strong> ** Kurt Hummel **So excuse me forgetting but these things I do  
>You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue<br>Anyway the thing is what I really mean  
>Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen<p>

[**Kurt Hummel**, **David Bryant **and 8 others like this.]

**Kurt Hummel** So much for last night, huh?  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **Haha! I guess so. Can't get it out of my head.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Same here. :)  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **I mean it, though.  
><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> Mean what?  
><strong>Blaine<strong>** Anderson **"Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen".  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass<strong> Did you guys have fun last night? [**Santana Lopez** likes this.]  
><strong>Wesley Cheung<strong> Oh dear lord, I think I have to go to my dentist. [**David Bryant** likes this.]  
><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>THANKS FOR RUINING THE MOOD, GUYS. And Puck, it's not what you think it is. We just watched "Moulin Rouge", okay? [**Blaine Anderson** likes this.]  
><strong>Puck Bad-ass <strong>Pfft. If you say so.

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><p><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>  
>Lesson learned: Never EVER use "last night" when referring to any activity done with <span>Blaine Anderson<span>.

[**Blaine Anderson** and 14 others like this.]

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><em><p><em>The end! Hope you guys like it. Don't forget to leave a review!<em>

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_NOTES:_

_1.) Puck's name in Facebook is "Puck Bad-ass" because I have a feeling that he does not like being recognized by his full name, Noah Puckerman._

_2.) The "A Midsummer Night's Dream" reference is just my way of being able to put something about Kurt being "bottom". I haven't watched/read it, but I know it quite enough. There IS a character named Bottom. Nick Bottom, if I'm not mistaken._

_3.) I just felt like adding a dash of Wavid bromance, so I hope you don't mind._

_4.)The "Moulin Rouge" reference is because of the Moulin!Klaine craze. I just watched the movie recently and all I could think of was Klaine. And those lines from "Your Song" just really fit._

_5.) Brittany here was referring to the McKinley Yearbook, by the way. Haha. All the members of New Directions ARE on one page!_

_6.) I just got random surnames for Wes and David._

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